Undateable Episode 2.02 Candice's Boyfriend Walks into a Bar

The gang is hanging out at the bar (obviously) when an obnoxious bro walks in and hits on Leslie with one of the worst pickup lines ever. "Sup bae? I dig that dump truck." And, in case Leslie didn't get it, he clarifies, "I'm talking 'bout your butt." Repulsed and yet flattered, Leslie declines his invitation to come over to his place and "hop on the pony," though Shelly is interested... as long as it's an actual pony. Just then, Candace walks over and introduces the dirtbag as her boyfriend, Trent, and the two head out together.

As soon as they're gone, Justin declares that it's their duty as Candace's friends to tell her her boyfriend is a jerk. In Justin's head, when he hires people, he becomes a sort of father figure to them. So Papa Justin stages an intervention to break the news to Candace that Trent hit on Leslie. Instead of being grateful, Candace is furious with Justin - who asked him anyway?! In fact, she's furious with the whole gang, except for Danny, who didn't care enough to stick his nose in her business.

That night, Candace stops by Justin and Danny's place to get advice on Trent... from Danny, NOT Justin. She admits Trent isn't a great boyfriend, and frankly she thinks he's using her. Danny, who wants no part of this conversation, simply responds, "I know you'll make the right decision." Yeah, 'cause that's helpful. Justin is furious with Danny that he wasted their only chance to break Candace and Trent up, but Danny thinks Justin's more upset that Candace chose Danny as her father figure, which would make Justin the overly emotional group mother.

The next day at the bar, Candace beelines to Danny, telling him that she's been thinking a lot about their conversation, and while Trent hasn't been treating her well lately, she's determined it's actually HER fault. So, she's going to go all in and let him move in with her. All because of Danny. Finally, Danny realizes he screwed up, and turns to Justin to help clean up his mess. So mom and dad head over to Candace's apartment to tell their daughter that she's too good for "this Trent boy." Candace admits Trent isn't perfect, but he's always been there for her. Danny explains she doesn't need Trent - she has her new friends, who are all there for her.

After listening to mom and dad's sage advice, Candace dumps Trent that night at the bar. Trent handles the breakup maturely, telling Candace she's weak and will never last a day in Detroit on her own. Candace is furious and, backed by the gang trying their best at appearing threatening, she tells off Trent and kicks him out of the bar.

Meanwhile, after being told by his first male date that he's a terrible kisser, Brett turns to Leslie and Shelly to teach him how to kiss properly. When he shows Leslie what he's working with, she agrees with his date - Brett sucks at kissing. Good thing Shelly is a world-renowned kissing artist and Leslie has a lot of time on her hands! But it seems no matter how much they practice, Brett is still awful. His problem is that he's kissed a ton of women before coming out, but he never actually wanted to kiss them. "My kissing style is designed to make people want to stop kissing me," he explains. Frustrated, Brett quits make-out tutoring - he doesn't want to kiss girls, and frankly, he didn't want to kiss his date.

That's when Leslie realizes the root of the problem - Brett's a romantic! He's a bad kisser when he's kissing people he doesn't care about and needs to be emotionally invested. Shelly tells him to close his eyes and picture his perfect man, which for Brett is Zebradco McDamonBender, a sexy combination of the best body parts of his favorite actors. Leslie completes the fantasy by adding that Brett and Zebradco's relationship isn't just superficial - Zebradco respects Brett and cares for him. This time, when Brett kisses Leslie, he blows her mind - so much so that she climbs on top of him, begging for more. Shelly has to pull her off of him, but let's just say that if Brett ever decides he's straight, Leslie's first in line at the Brett buffet.