Small Town Security Episode 1.02 The Testosterone Triangle

In JJK's reception area, a debate ensues when Christa insists she wouldn't pull her pants down in public for less than $100 million. "You're not a Bond villain," Brian scoffs. "You'd do it for $500 Canadian!"

Lt. Croft discusses living as a man and admits that while he's pleased most people refer to him as "he," Joan often doesn't.

A lethargic Irwin sets out in his car to look for new clients. As he passes various local businesses, he finds excuses not to stop and solicit them, and finally goes and buys a new pair of shoes instead. "I've got to get back in the groove again," he says.

The next day at the Koplan house, Joan and Irwin share the story of how they first met in NYC in 1968. Irwin asked Joan to marry him after only a few months, but she never gave him an answer and then moved to Miami, where she spent time with a hotelier. After learning the hotelier had mob connections, she got scared, called Irwin, and asked if he'd still marry her. A tearful Joan recalls, "My grandmother told me he was such a wonderful man that I'd l learn to love him. And that's what I did."

Irwin sees a TV commercial promoting how testosterone can help with exhaustion. Intrigued, he decides to begin taking it.

Croft and Chief go on a night patrol together. About spending time with The Chief, Croft beams, "We're alone in our own little world."

Irwin arrives at JJK with his hair colored and confesses he did it himself with dye bought at a dollar store. Christa insists he get it fixed at a salon. (He does.)

Continuing to search for new business, Irwin meets with the Chattanooga Convention Center, where he's told there's no need for JJK's services. However, after charming someone at the meeting with stories about a shared alma mater, he secures a promise that JJK will be recommended when extra security is needed for special events.

Back at the office, Croft confides that Joan is "the love of my life" and says he believes they were married in a past life when Joan "was an Egyptian princess." The Chief rolls her eyes. "I guess I have two husbands."

When Irwin returns with the convention center news, an elated Joan suggests they have sex. When asked if he's jealous, Croft states: "Captain is this life's husband for Chief."

While Irwin wishes he could change Croft's feelings for his wife, he also notes, Croft "lightens the load" of running JJK.

Asked about her relationship with Croft, Joan divulges: "He'd be the perfect mate for me, but that's not the way it is." She also surmises "he'd probably be good in bed."