Scrubs Episode 8.01 My Jerks

There's a new face on the Sacred Heart staff in the form of Courteney Cox. But it's made crystal clear she's not exactly here looking for, uh, friends.

We meet the new interns at Sacred Heart. But don't get your hopes up-J.D. informs us they "suuuuuck." Among the crop of young not-so-hopefuls are the overly-ambitious Katie, who knows the answer to every question posed to the group, callous Denise, who has a bit of problem with telling it like it is, and Ed, who spends his time texting when he should be listening to instructions. You know, we're starting to see J.D.'s point on these cads.

With Dr. Kelso retiring, there's also a new Chief of Medicine at Sacred Heart-the foxy Dr. Taylor Maddox (Courteney Cox). J.D. attempts to make a good first impression with Dr. Maddox by showing her a photo of his son. But when she in turn offers a picture of her daughter, J.D. asks, "Did you deliver vaginally?" We're guessing that probably won't read so hot in his annual review. It also makes our top 10 list of worst pick-up lines, ever.

While Carla seems impressed with Dr. Maddox's special hands-on method with newly-admitted patient Mr. Hicks, Dr. Cox proclaims that she's actually probably a jerk.

"That position attracts jerks," he tells her. "Plus, I know jerks. I married a jerk! I divorced a jerk!" We know it seems like Dr. Cox couldn't sound like more of jerk himself already, but wait-there's more! He next tells Elliot that for the past year, she's been the most whiny, self-absorbed person in the galaxy. Yup. 'Kind' it is not. But is it somewhat true?

Carla confirms to Elliot that she has indeed been self-absorbed after breaking off her marriage plans with Keith. Hey, that's what friends are for!

The Janitor purposely trips J.D. with a mop, prompting Dr. Maddox to fire him. We actually gotta give props to the Janitor for the most hilarious scene in the episode-where he makes a cross with his fingers and hisses at the photo of Maddox's baby.

In what we'll call the Heartfelt Moment, Elliot finally gives a sincere apology to Keith for bailing on their wedding and thereafter constantly mocking him at the hospital.

J.D. And Dr. Cox also have a heart-to-heart about how they're tired-J.D. says he's tired of teaching attitudinal, ignorant interns, and Cox relates by saying he's weary of Dr. Maddox and tired of having to stand up for every injustice he sees at the hospital.

Whoa! Major breakthrough time! J.D. marvels at the fact that Cox actually considers him an equal.

Later we see that Dr. Cox's assumption was correct about Dr. Maddox when she confesses to him the only reason she's been running so many tests on Mr. Hicks is because he has great insurance, and is a "pure profit machine."

Remind us to never check in to Sacred Heart.