Desperate Housewives Episode 7.02 You Must Meet My Wife

Bree makes the mistake of backing her car down the driveway while gazing longingly at her handyman, Keith. THUMP! Bree's back bumper has a rude run-in with Juanita as she rides by on her bike. At the hospital, Gaby says Juanita will be fine but will need to stay a few days for observation. She also asks Bree and Andrew to stop running down members of her family. Not an unreasonable request.

Bree finds Keith to be too much of a sexual distraction, so she fires him. But a little pep talk from Mrs. McCluskey about living life to the fullest inspires her to hire him back. Of course, she ends up backing her car into the guy before they can discuss the possibility of a health plan.

With Carlos out of town, Gaby fields all the usual allergy questions from the nurse. She's a little confused after the nurse asks when Juanita was adopted. See, both Carlos and Gaby are blood type O. Juanita is type A. Gaby worries that she may have gotten so drunk during a ski weekend eight years ago that she may have conceived Juanita with a French guy she affectionately referred to as "le package." She thinks Juanita might be French!

Gaby tries to convince Carlos that she suffers from a rare condition known as sexsomnia. She says, "It's like sleepwalking except instead of using your legs you use your…you know." Carlos realizes the reason Gaby has concocted such a wild story is because she thinks she may have unwittingly cheated on him. He has no choice but to tell Gaby the truth. Juanita is not their daughter. Gaby is beyond crushed.

Maxine, the Va-Va-Va-Broom.com entrepreneur, gives Susan a few tips on how to make her lingerie-wearing housecleaning a little more tantalizing for her online audience. Guess those throw pillows were very naughty judging by the way Susan spanks them. Mike is totally turned on when walks in during one of Susan's sultry spring cleaning sessions. Fortunately, Susan is able to disable the webcam before they get down and dirty. The cash Susan is pulling in is certainly helpful, but the pain she feels in lying to her husband is hard to take.

Tom has been diagnosed with male postpartum depression. Lynette's not buying it. Renee suggests that Lynette doesn't really listen to her hubby. So, she's been hearing him out during some late night chats and dinner at a nice French restaurant. Mon Dieu! Is that Renee holding Tom's hand in a back booth? Oui! It is!

Lynette and Renee do their usual bicker-banter before eventually making up and Tom finally gets a little understanding from his loving wife. However, Tom gets a little anxious when he hears that Renee is moving into Edie's old place. He says that Lynette can never know what happened between them many years ago. Hmm.

A disheveled blonde woman walks down Wisteria Lane carrying a suitcase and a goldfish in a bowl. Who is she, you ask? Well, Paul Young says she's his wife, Beth. She used to send him lots and lots of steamy love letters while he was in prison. So…they got married. How romantic.

Beth is more than willing to play the role of Paul's wife but conjugal visits are still not an option. See, Beth never thought Paul would get out of jail. Now she's just as creeped out by him as everyone else which means Beth should fit right in on Wisteria Lane unless, of course, Paul ends up killing her.