Desperate Housewives Episode 5.17 The Story of Lucy and Jessie

At Brad's funeral, Carlos is sure that the company's CEO knows Brad fired him before he died. But, based on the huge bonus Brad got for Carlos, the CEO promotes Carlos to president of the company, Brad's old job.

Now that Edie knows David's real name, she does a little research. She already knew about his first wife, Lila, but not that he had a three-year-old daughter who died in the same car crash.

Bree realizes that Orson is still pocketing other people's items and confronts him with all the things he's stolen. He admits that stealing gives him a "thrill." Bree tells him, "From this moment on, you are forbidden from entering any of our friends' homes." She swears to return all the stolen items herself.

Susan clashes with Jesse, the art teacher she's assisting, and fears the worst when a student lets on that Susan is being evaluated this week -- and that the last assistant to argue with the art teacher is long gone. To get on Jesse's good side, Susan invites her over for dinner, but after a few random comments, like a gripe about being "through with men," Jesse interprets the occasion as a date. Susan realizes there's been a huge misunderstanding when Jesse kisses her goodbye.

Susan confesses the kiss to her friends over poker. Gabrielle isn't satisfied with Susan's vague description of the kiss and demonstrates a quick peck and a longer smooch on Susan, asking which one Jesse laid on her. Susan thinks it was the longer one and Lee says, "Congratulations. You're now dating a lesbian."

Lynette hears that Carlos is hiring a director of marketing and asks Gabrielle to put in a good word for her, but Gabrielle says Carlos is under too much pressure to be taking a "big risk" right now. Gabrielle reconsiders, however, when Carlos tells her that his big new hire, the one they're expecting to dinner any minute, is his ex-girlfriend, Lucy. When a much-heavier woman than Gabrielle was expecting arrives, however, she gives Carlos her blessing.

Gabrielle assumes that Lucy put on a lot of weight over the years, but Carlos tells her, "No, she looks about the same," and Gabrielle realizes she has cause to be jealous after all. She asks if they're still looking for a marketing director. "I have a friend that I would love to see working with you two."

Bree goes about secretly returning all the stolen items and everything goes as smooth as silk, until she returns an item belonging to Mrs. McCluskey to the Solises. Gabrielle orders Juanita to confess having stolen it or else she'll cancel her birthday party. Bree thinks Gabrielle is being overly harsh, until Juanita suggests that maybe Bree is the thief. Bree catches Orson stealing a mug from Bob and Lee and drags him to a psychiatrist. The doctor suggests couple's counseling. "He's the sick one, fix him," Bree says and walks out. "Do you know why she's so angry?" Orson tells the shrink. "Because this is something she can't control. And I love it."

Lynette realizes she's the oldest applicant for a job and takes offense when her interviewer asks how old she is. He explains that they've just taken on a client that makes an anti-wrinkle cream and Lynette, who's only 43, blurts out, "I'm 54." She gets the job, but is devastated that her new boss didn't even give her a "courtesy gasp" about how young she looks. Gabrielle tells Lynette to "un-accept" the other job as Carlos has agreed to hire her. Lynette says she'd only consider if it they match her salary and Gabrielle doesn't blink, even though the figure Lynette names is $20,000 more than the job she's just agreed to.

Susan tells Jesse that she's "not into women," but her boss isn't convinced. Jesse finds a way to make her point during class via the childrens' drawings. Susan praises a picture of a gazelle, but says that she "loves" rhinos. Jesse asks if she doesn't really prefer gazelles to "sweaty" rhinos. Susan is forced to admit that the reason she asked Jesse over was to get a good evaluation. Susan apologizes for leading her on and points out that for all their differences, they're both alone and says she'd still like to be Jesse's friend.

Dave is all geared up to go camping, but Mike informs him that Katherine can't make it. Dave tells her he's "very disappointed" that she's not going. He says that the trip was primarily a way to get to know her better. Telling her that she's given Mike "inner peace," he says, "I just think it would be cool to become buddies with the woman who did that for my friend." Katherine is flattered and agrees to go. She asks if Dave really thinks she's made such a huge difference in Mike's life and Dave says, "Oh, definitely. If he ever lost you, it would destroy him."

Lynette suggests to Carlos and Lucy that they plan an event in St. Bart's, and is surprised when they reminisce about a romantic trip they took there. Lynette realizes why Gabrielle was so keen on her getting the job, especially when Gabrielle is waiting on her front porch to hear all about her first day. "You only helped me get this job because you needed a spy," Lynette says and Gabrielle points out that Lynette's just as guilty for lying about the salary at the other job. Lynette agrees to keep spying in exchange for the higher salary and the two shake on it.

As Dave's packing for his trip, Edie asks him, "How do you feel about kids?" She says she's always wanted a girl. Dave tells her about a "friend," who had a little girl who meant everything to him. "Unfortunately she was in an accident and died. He told me that when it happened, part of him died too. No, I don't think I'd want a child," he says. "It's just not worth it."

At Edie's request, a newspaper archivist has been looking for more articles about "David Dash," but he waits until the next morning to fax her an article that reads "Fairview Man Won't Be Charged in Accident That Killed Two," one that features a photograph of Mike. Edie won't learn of the article until after Mike, Katherine and Dave have already set off on their trip.