The 'Eyes Wide Shut' actor reflects on his failed marriage to Hilary Lyon, admitting he's glad his attempt to conceive a child with his former wife had failed.
- Feb 24, 2024
AceShowbiz - Alan Cumming says it is a "blessing" he didn't have children with his ex-wife. The "Traitors" US host married Hilary Lyon in 1985 in a bid to find security and prove he could succeed where his divorced parents failed, but they separated in 1993, and while they had attempted to conceive a child during their marriage, the 59-year-old actor is relieved they didn't because life "would've been very different."
"That's not a great thing to do. I wouldn't recommend that. I was 21 when I got married the first time. I knew I was bisexual when I was married the first time, as did my wife...," he told People magazine of his reasons to wed.
"I have friends who deal with, they've broken up and they're co-parenting. I think that's really difficult. I think of it as a blessing that didn't happen because of the way that my life went afterwards and how difficult it would've been. I probably wouldn't have had the inclination to come and live in America, perhaps, if that meant I wasn't going to see my child. Everything happens for a reason."
"The Good Wife" actor - who came out publicly in 1998 - went on to date both men and women before marrying for a second time, to artist Grant Shaffer, in 2007, a time he felt he was in a much better space to settle down in a committed relationship.
He said, "I'd had a lot of bad failed relationships, and I was ready to not have a bad one. There's certain things that happened in my life that have made me who I am and made me understand myself so much better."
"By the time I met Grant - we started going out with each other when we were nearly 40 - all those things had sort of come out and I had done a lot of therapy. I was ready to be honest and open about what I could bring to the table and what I felt I wasn't capable of. We started our relationship just being very honest with each other."
Alan joked his current marriage feels different "because it's obviously lasted much longer" and "he has a penis." He added, "When you've lived as long as I have - I've been in so many different sort of relationships and situations - I just think you have to think that if you're happy in the present, then all those things that happened before are a part of your happiness now. And so you can't really wish to change them or have regrets."
And the "Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion" actor feels he has a "duty" to be open about his sexuality to be a role model to others. He said, "As a member of that community and a proud one, I feel I have a duty actually as someone who has a platform to look back and remember what it felt like."
"I didn't feel that there were role models and people who were well known speaking out [when I was growing up]. Why wouldn't I want to help young queer people who are feeling that they don't belong and that they're worried about their future when there's someone like me who has also felt like that?"
