The former 'Scandal' star, who previously got candid about her battle with an eating disorder in a 2020 interview, confesses that she really wanted to 'hurt myself' because of her body dysmorphia.
- Sep 22, 2023
AceShowbiz - Kerry Washington's past battle with an eating disorder and body dysmorphia was bad enough that she contemplated suicide. The "Scandal" alum made the revelation when speaking to Robin Roberts in an upcoming episode of "Good Morning America".
"I was good at control. I could party all night and drink and smoke and have sex and still show up and have good grades. I knew how to manage. I was so high functioning," the 46-year-old detailed, before noting that compulsive exercise and binge eating eventually consumed her. "And the food took me out. Like, the body dysmorphia, the body hatred."
"It was beyond my control and really led me to feeling like I need help from somebody and something bigger than me or I am in trouble, because I don't know how to live with this," she added. "I could feel how the abuse was a way to really hurt myself, as if I didn't want to be here. Like, it scared me, that I could want to not be here because I was in so much pain."
Kerry previously got candid about her condition when speaking to Essence in 2020. "I'd eat anything and everything…sometimes until I passed out," she said. "But then, because I had this personality that was driven toward perfectionism, I would tell people I was at the library, but instead go to the gym and exercise for hours and hours and hours. Keeping my behavior a secret was painful and isolating. There was a lot of guilt and a lot of shame."
Fortunately, the "Django Unchained" actress now has a much "healthier" relationship with food. "I mean, I wouldn't say that I'd never act out with food," she told Robin. "It's just very different now. It's not to the extreme. There's no suicidal ideation. That is not where I am anymore."
Kerry will offer more details about her past eating disorder in her new memoir, "Thicker Than Water". The book is set to be released on September 26.
