The 'Tik Tok' hitmaker gets candid about her struggle with eating disorder, saying she couldn't allow herself to enjoy food because she was so worried about how she looked.
- Jun 22, 2023
AceShowbiz - Kesha's anxiety amid her bulimia battle became so severe she was "not functioning." The "Blah Blah Blah" singer, 36, is still recovering from the eating disorder, which started with a two-month stay in a rehab facility in 2014 but which has resulted in her keeping up therapy and meditating to maintain her mental health.
"I had a particular moment with my eating disorder when the anxiety just got so high that I was not functioning. It was taking up so much of my brain space, from morning to night. I was obsessed with what I looked like, what went in my mouth, what size things were, and people's approval. I have a support system in place (of therapists) that I speak to weekly or monthly," she told SELF magazine in a cover interview.
She added about her diet and meditation, "(After) not allowing myself to eat or enjoy food for so long in my life, I really turned a corner, and now, I f****** love food. I started cooking; I go to the farmers market.
"I always have three meal breaks (on tour), 'cause being in recovery, I need to have time to sit and have a meal. I have about 30 minutes before I go on stage where I meditate, stretch, and do breathing exercises."
"People probably think I'm back there doing shots, and (my routine is) the most zen s*** you've ever seen. No one could have told me this 10 years ago, but… freedom from that obsession is there. It takes work to get there. But sitting here knowing that I don't count any calories, I don't know what my pant size is, and I don't weigh myself is so beautiful."
Kesha's SELF profile added she also does eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy, which involved moving eyes and sometimes tapping on two sides of your body under a therapist's supervision to help remove and overcome trauma.
She said about another one of her personal coping mechanisms, "One of my practices is, on the back of my phone, I have a picture of myself as a kid, and I have to look at it and send love. I look back in the same way at pictures of me when I was 22… if I just am kinder to myself, everything seems way more manageable."
