The former contestant of 'The X-Factor' talks about falling into 'a heavy and dark time' when she was stuck in a 'very toxic' relationship that led to her first panic attack.
- May 13, 2021
AceShowbiz - British pop star Ella Henderson suffered her first panic attack two years ago after finding herself stuck in a "very toxic" relationship.
The "Ghost" singer, who shot to fame on the U.K.'s "The X Factor" when she was just 16, reveals she didn't recognise herself as she struggled to find her footing during the bad romance, which even made her doubt her choice of career.
She said, "I was going through a lot with my personal life, I was in a very different relationship to what I'm in now. I would describe it as a very toxic one."
"But when you're in it you don't see that and you don't know that, and as much as I can put a lot of blame on another person, there were so many ways within me where I didn't have self-worth, didn't have self-love, and I think until you love yourself you can't love somebody else."
"There were so many insecurities that I had to work on and it felt quite a heavy and dark time of my life, which also kind of manifested into me experiencing my very first panic attack," Ella continued on the "Get Lit With Becky Rabin" podcast.
"I even made myself believe at one point that I wasn't in love with music anymore. And that's literally what I live and breathe for."
Ella, now 25, has since moved past the tough time and has a much more positive outlook on life. "Once you start loving yourself again, or you start loving yourself for the first time, it's like this whole thing, it's like you had tunnel vision before and then everything just starts to open up," she added.
"Everything that's going on in my life was already there. It's just I've got this different approach to things."
"I definitely had the mindset of treating everything as if it was new again. Especially with my work. When things start to happen you just feel 10 times more grateful for them!"
