AceShowbiz - Actress and activist Jameela Jamil contemplated ending her life on her birthday last year (20) after her various health issues made her a target of cruel social media trolls.
"The Good Place" star has openly discussed her many ailments in the past, including injuries from car accidents, congenital hearing loss and inner ear disorder labyrinthitis, connective tissue disorder hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, and the gluten-triggered coeliac disease.
Her multitude of health troubles and her claim that she identifies as queer, sparked speculation suggesting she actually suffers from psychological disorder Munchausen's syndrome, which causes people to invent various ailments for attention - allegations Jamil furiously denied early last year.
She even quit Twitter after facing continuous attacks on her character, and now the actress admits the never-ending backlash really got her down when she turned 34 and struggled with suicidal thoughts.
"Just a year ago I was totally suicidal," she said in a virtual appearance at body confidence event TheBodCon on Sunday (21Feb21).
"This week is my birthday week. I was totally suicidal on my birthday last year because of how much people were just mocking my disability, or like, mocking my mental health and I was like, 'What an ugly world, I don't want to be here anymore.' "
With the support of her loved ones, including her musician boyfriend James Blake and regular therapy sessions, Jamil has successfully overcome her deep feelings of depression.
"Now a year later, I'm like the strongest and the happiest and the freest I've ever been," she smiled.
Part of her mental health recovery was learning not to take criticism from outsiders to heart.
"I'm not out to impress a bunch of strangers who, because of misogyny, are looking to poke holes in me anyway," she explained, highlighting the sexism displayed towards famous women in the press and online.
"Look at the way we treat women in the public eye... look at Britney Spears, look at Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Amanda Bynes, like Anne Hathaway, Jennifer Lawrence, Greta Thunberg - we do this to every single prominent woman," continued Jamil, who founded the body activist platform I Weigh.
"When we don't like a man we just don't learn anything about him - we don't learn his name. We don't follow him on the Internet, we just don't care. When we don't like a woman, we will investigate every single thing she's ever said, ever done..., scrutinise her obsessively. It's really weird."
Jamil previously confessed she suffered suicidal thoughts in 2012 after a "nervous breakdown."