The 'Star Trek: Picard' actor still needs help from his therapist while he continues struggling to come to terms with the lingering effects left by his violent and abusive father.

• Dec 8, 2020

AceShowbiz - Sir Patrick Stewart still attends therapy sessions to come to terms with the domestic violence he witnessed as a child.

The "Star Trek: Picard" actor is still affected by seeing his father frequently behave violently towards his mother when he was growing up.

Speaking Telegraph.co.uk, he said, "I am 80 years old, and I am still in therapy. I see someone every week here in Los Angeles, who I have seen on and off for nearly 20 years."

"I'm still searching myself, still asking questions of myself, and that is certainly the case when I try to recall what it felt like to be in the middle of violence, and there being nothing I can do."

The Brit grew up convinced he had the same streak of rage that his father had and fought to keep it hidden - admitting he once thought he would kill his headmaster when he was falsely punished as a teenager.

"I was beaten with a cane by my headmaster when I was 14, (when) I was innocent of what he was accusing me of," Patrick recalled. "It was one of the hardest moments ever, because I wanted to attack him. I would have killed him. If I'd actually got my hands on him, I don't think he'd have made it out."

But Patrick never let the emotion come to the forefront while working, even when a character called for it.

He said, "Extreme anger, fury - I had to fake them, I was frightened of what might happen to me if I allowed those real feelings (out), because I inherited them."

And the "X-Men" star was always worried about losing his temper with his children, from his first marriage to Sheila Falconer.

"(Emotions) had to be controlled," he shared. "I had two children (Daniel and Sophia) and there was no violence in our house. I remember my son, who ended up being much taller than me, going nose to nose with me, arguing about something. I had to suppress all of that (anger). So yes, it was there, it's still there."