AceShowbiz - R. Kelly's daughter Buku Abi has experienced the worst that any expectant parent could deal with. The daughter of the disgraced R&B singer took to Instagram on Wednesday, November 11 to share her grief over the loss of her unborn baby.
"My palms are sweating and I feel like I have to throw up. I'm also shaking... I've reread this like 20 times...," Buku, whose real name is Joann Kelly, began the caption which accompanied a sonogram picture. Expressing her feelings, she wrote, "Dear Son. I am heartbroken you left me so early. If I'm being honest... I'm also angry."
Buku revealed she suffered miscarriage more than one month ago on October 1, but she's still struggling to accept the fact. "Many things have happened this year that I don't understand.... but this one I don't even want to believe, accept, move on from... but I will learn...," she shared.
The 22-year-old singer/songwriter opened up on how she grew attached to her fetus, "I met you when you were about 8weeks & You became the light of my life in a world that was so cold, and dark, and truthfully very frequently lonely... so fast. It was just you and I. You opened me up and showed me love in ways I'll never forget. In ways I'll never be able to explain. You made me fall deep In love with myself ... all because you and god chose me to be your mother. An honor.... You gave me a strength I didn't know I had. It was and will forever be all for you."
Reflecting on her own pain, Buku wanted "to take the time to acknowledge all the mothers that have experienced the loss of a child." She added, "I'm speaking directly to you when I say you are seen. I feel you and I love you."
Admitting that she's "not okay, deep down there's an emptiness..," she assured others who share the same experience that "that's fine. sometimes being 'ok' is just too hard." She continued, "But... as long as you're here to see any other day.. you're doing something."
Buku is R. Kelly's daughter with singer, choreographer and actress Andrea Kelly. She has admitted in the past that she's not close with her father, who is currently being held in a Chicago jail over several sexual abuse charges.