The 'Last Train to Paris' star says he 'went through a state of dark depression' in a video message he recorded to mark the end of 2019 and celebrate the new year.

• Jan 2, 2020

AceShowbiz - P. Diddy talked about his emotional struggle in 2019 hot on heels of his alleged gay confession that went viral. "2019 was a crazy year," he said. "It was a great year for some of us and for some of us that s**t was really, really, really hard man. It was a hard year."

"The energy was real, real heavy out there. I even got affected. 2019 was the year I honestly felt I wanted to give up," he continued. "For a whole year I went through a state of dark depression. I'm telling you this because I had so many people to help me."

"There's so many people dealing with depression," the 50-year-old music mogul added. "Nobody's immune to it. No matter how much money or success you have. Depression is at an all-time high. Even I experienced it this year."

Comments flooded the internet. While some dissed him, many others offered support for him. "Come out of the closet Diddy and let another man love you the way you want to be loved," one wrote. Another penned, "Bruh just come out its ok cuz muthaf**kas still gonna listen to your music."

"It's ok, Diddy, to just come out and be a gay man. Love yourself enough to, as you say in this video," one other said. "People are going to be critical of you either way but, trust me, they'll get over it. If you're worried about who will turn against you, don't worry. Those people may appear to be for you and supportive but if they leave you for being gay, they were already turned. Your real tribe and supporting cast will be there for you either way. You've been struggling with this for a long time so put it to rest and be who you are."

Diddy allegedly came out of the closet with a song called "Hope" by sexually-fluid artist Orange Blood. He talked about his deepest fear and hoped to overcome it one day, "Sometimes I ask myself, like / You know, what is it going to take for me not to be afraid."

"To be loved the way, like, I really wanna be loved? / But that I know how I really wanna be loved / But I'm, but I'm, like, scared to really, really feel that / You know, it's like you want something / But you don't know if you can handle it," he continued. "Maybe one day I'll get over my fears and I'll receive."

Before the song came out, 50 Cent had already hinted at Diddy's sexuality. It stemmed from a 2017 video which featured a drunk Diddy calling another man "daddy." Fabolous who was in the video looked stunned and later confused about what kind of party Diddy wanted to have with him.

In another old video, Diddy made Kevin Hart burst into laughter when he struggled to take back his words after accidentally admitting to sleeping with Usher.

Meanwhile, in 2009, rapper Xzibit recalled the one time he was taken to a gay club by Diddy. He was so shocked when he discovered what kind of club it was that he immediately took off. "We leave the club directly. I didn't say peace to nobody. It was suspect," he said.