Sarah Hyland on Coming Close to Committing Suicide: I Would Write Suicide Note in My Head
Warner Bros./Michael Rozman

Stopping by 'The Ellen DeGeneres Show', the 'Modern Family' actress reveals she was 'very, very, very, very close' to taking her own life.

AceShowbiz - Sarah Hyland has gotten candid about how close she was to committing suicide. On Friday, January 11, the Haley Dunphy of "Modern Family" sat down with Ellen DeGeneres and revealed that after more than 25 years battling chronic health issues, she got to a point where she wrote suicide notes to her loved ones in her head.

Having said that she came "very, very, very, very close" to ending her life, the 28-year-old actress confessed, "I would write letters in my head to loved ones of why I did it and my reasoning behind it, how it was nobody's fault." She added, "I didn't want to write it down on paper because I didn't want anyone to find it because that's how serious I was."

On what pushed her to the near breaking point, the girlfriend of Wells Adams blamed her health condition that required her to undergone kidney transplant twice. "After 26, 27 years of just always being sick and being in chronic pain every single day, you don't know when you're going to have the next good day," she spilled. "It's really, really hard."

During her appearance on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show", the "See You in Valhalla" actress also credited talking out loud about her thoughts for getting her out of her dark place. "I finally said it out loud to someone," she recalled. "When I said it out loud, they were like, 'Oh, you need to see a therapist.' "

"And that's when I was like, 'Ok, I don't think you're going to help me. I think I need to really do this on my own and really do even more digging and soul-searching,' and just saying it out loud helped immensely because I kept it to myself for months and months at a time and saying it out loud really helped."

Having gone through what she went through, Hyland urged others facing similar struggles to seek help. "Every person with their anxiety or depression or if you have suicidal thoughts - every individual is different, so I wouldn't just rely on everything that I say," she stated. "I'm just sharing my story, but I think talking to someone and saying it out loud, really, really makes it sound almost ridiculous and it puts everything into perspective."

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