nothing really happens in "Assault on VA-33", which is remarkably unadventurous for a "Die Hard" knockoff, missing a vital level of building movement and physical exertion to provide any of the thrills the subgenre is capable of delivering
an unthrilling micro-budget "Die Hard" rip-off; It's quite distracting in its shabbiness; Weston Cage Coppola's year-old-Epoisses-ripe performance, sporting a surprisingly convincing Russian accent, is one of the more amusing features of this film